Haven't posted in awhile

Hey everyone, I am reserving this blog for future poems, stories and the sort. I have a more personal blog up. http://screamedinsilence.blogspot.com/

Long time no see

Well, I havent posted in a while. So here is 2 below. If you wish to listen to my music, get an account on imeem or it will just play for 30 seconds.

DJ, Play That Song

I can’t play half of my albums
They paint my whole day blue
Every word's like poison ivy
That makes me itch to be with you
The rythym of the chorus
Bring back the once upon a times
Each beat reminds me of each second
That is passing both us by
Lyrics of our has beens
Stabs my heart with memories
But the blood lies on the both our hands
Cause I take blame to some degree
Our love's become a yesterday,
A tomorrow left to die
A photo album from the long lost past,
Fading rapid as we cry
Well I made an album out of pictures
Just the other lonely night
From pictures that I've had stored forever
In the deepest of my mind
And these photos of our future
Behind my firmly rested eyes
Create a film strip of a hollow world
In deceiving black and white
Dear know I would walk a lifetime
To reach this fairy tale
But it's just a sham that lies before me
Like a neverland for sale
I was listening to the radio
When this person got on air
They request a song they'd like to hear
A song so old and rare
She said, "DJ if you play that song,
Well you might just make my night.
It's been so different lately,
It's been so long since I've felt right.
"Well then that man inside the speakers
Plays our favorite song out loud
I could have sworn I heard you singing
To the words so soft and proud
It was that song about two lovers
And a pact made from the start
They are to go to the place they first met
If they have a change of heart
But my favorite parts the ending
When they put the pact to use
When she shows up, he is standing there
And with a smile, he tells her," truce"
I sing the song from start to finish
As if you could hear me say
"I never meant those words, I'm sorry,
I need you here with me today"
Then I put both my palms together
When the last verse reached it's end
I asked the lord for your forgiveness
So my pain could finally mend
But love I know your pain's eternal,
Your forgiveness out of reach
It's only my imagination
When you whisper, "Please come back to me"
My lucky penny is in midair,
Untouchable to me
But these gray clouds of my darkest days
Lie resting always at my feet
Well my body's finally getting weary
From walking all this way to hope
Yet I still climb this faith inside me
Like there's no ending to the rope
All I've got left is reminiscing
And these songs as souvenirs
And thin hope my soul can manage
The aching truth that you're not here

Silent DJ

Silent DJ sits in booth.
Playing music along the airwaves.
Enjoying his tunes.
No one listens.
Silent DJ playing his tunes from whenever ago.
Dancing in his booth, smiling.
To him this is his dream.
To give his musical tastes to others.
Joyous.
Why is he silent you ask?
It's the prospect of that of the tree in the woods.
No one hears him, no one is to hear him.
Gone are people due to the great accident.
But he plays, happily everyday from dawn till dusk.
Silent DJ keeping the insanity away.
Just put on that other disk and play.

The DJ

I am the frequency, the beat, the wavelength, the pulse, the sound, the music, the rythym unto whch flows through the soul of those who dance to the flash of the beauty of the flashing lights unto which the the bass of the music flows unto the beat of my heart and soul, the pulse of the rythym moves my heart unto the music each wavelength bringing me ever closer to the frequency of my very soul, the core of my being bathed unto the music through which my soul is poured onto vinyl and silicone read by the red eye of the machine of which translates the rythym of my soul into the frequency pouring through your ears, the bass of the music is the tune of my heart through which is the frequency of my very soul and core of my being.

No Pain (Created after my awful long Rugby conditioning)

you see no mark upon my skin
you see no tear in my eye
you see no sign of pain
therefor I must not be in pain

I must not cry myself
to sleep at night
or wake up screaming
because of haunted dreams
I must not pull the blade
across my skin
and hope that one day
it drives in deeper
I must not fear the darkness
or shudder at the thought of silence
I must not hide myself from
life and prying eyes that
judge your worth as a person
upon the shine of your smile

you hear no gasp escape my mouth
you hear no horror tale from my past
you hear no words of pain
therefor I must not be in pain

I must not scream so loud it's silent
or throw things against my
bedroom walls
I must not kick and scream
and punch things that no one else can see
I must not drown myself
in the brown bagged bottle
in the hopes that i will forget
or tie the rope around my neck
and pray i find the courage to
pull it tighter


you don't see or hear my pain
therefor you think i feel no pain
you see what I choose for you to see
you hear what I choose for you to hear
you know not what he did to me
you know not what she did to me
you know not what you did to me
you know not the pain I feel
you know only what I want you to know
but just because you do not see or hear it
does not mean that the pain is not there
locked away inside of me, where it will always be

Bored while do math project got inspiried

Count backwards from 100
Subtract the tears you cried
Divide it by your heartaches
Then multiply by your lies.

Could you find the square rout,
Of the problem at hand?
Long division and empty promises
Are high in demand.

Don’t make mistakes
Subtract one last time
Your heart can’t take another throw back
Now your left with nothing but a shallow mind

I Love You

The sweetest word is your name.
And the greatest thing is your love.


All the lonely tears that have escaped my eyes have made me who I am,
One to love you more.
All the times I felt I've found the one,
And all the times I've mourned over a bleeding heart,
All the things I've wished I've done,
And all the things I wished I hadn't helps me love you with purity and certainty.
All the times we fight feels like we're gambling our lives.


I hope we never lose.
I love you so much,
I love you with all my faults and all my achievements.
I love you with all that I am.
I love you for who you are.
I hope in the quietest of the night
when I whisper out to you you know just what to do.
You listen to hear my voice echoing how much I love you.

Love

Love

Some crave it
Some love it
Some hate it
Some need it

Others abuse it
Others use it
Others are obsessive to a point
Some aren't

It's a word that can mean so much
It's a word that can mean so little
It's a word some don't understand
It's a word that some simply dismiss

Love

It's just a four letter word
But some people fear it so much
It's nothing to be scared of
But others aren't sure

It's simply

Love

Love

You watch her from a distance
You love to see her smile
You wish one day she might be yours
If only for a while

You wish that you could tell her
To have the strength to say,
“I love you and I wish that you
Could feel the same one day!”

Your heart beats as she comes towards you
Only to walk on by
You try to tell yourself you don’t love her
Try to believe your lie…

You wish, you dream, you hope, you pray
That you could be together
Maybe if you could make her see
That you two could last forever.....

I Love the Way Yoy Love Me

I love the way I can talk to you
And say what's on my mind
I never have to look away
Or keep a thing inside

Tears fill my eyes when you're not around
Or when you just don't care
But I know in my heart you will do what's right
For me, you will always dare

Material things will never matter
As long as I have you
You make every day that passes
So much easier to get through

My worries disappear when you're around
No thoughts of pain or doubt
I feel your love when you hold me close
And kiss me if I pout

I don't care what they are talking about
All I care for is you
I'll jump off a building to show you my love
If that's what I have to do

I love you for everything that you are
Not what you promise to be
I know you can't see why or how
You're the most important thing to me

Love It

I feel your hands in my hair.
I feel your breath on my neck.
I feel your body pressed so close to mine.
I feel your lips on my throat.
I feel your hands move to my back and your lips work their way up to mine.
I feel you and I love it.

I hear you say you love me.
I hear you whisper my name.
I hear you tell me I'm the only one for you.
I hear your breath in my ear.
I hear your soft snores as I fall asleep.
I hear you and I love it.

I see you as I run into your arms.
I see your face break through my world of darkness.
I see you fight away my fears.
I see you wipe away my tears.
I see you're in love with me.
I see you and I love it.

I taste your lips.
I taste your tongue.
I taste your throat as I kiss it.
I taste your love.
I taste your passion.
I taste you and I love it.

I smell your colone as I hold you.
I smell your shampoo as I hug you.
I smell your toothpaste as I kiss you.
I smell your excitement as you cuddle me.
I smell the smell I've been waiting so long to smell.
I smell you and I love it.

I feel you.
I hear you.
I see you.
I taste you.
I smell you.
I do all these things and I love it.

I'm finally with you.
You're finally here.
I love it.
I love you.

Fault

I can't figure out where we fell apart
And I’m searching for someone to blame
For all this pain and all the tears
And I don't know how I manage
To go on loving you
After all that you've put me through
I tell myself ifs not your fault
I tell myself I didn't make you do it
But I blame myself for everything
And if only I had been there
Maybe things would be different
I have dreams of how you used to be
And I wake up crying and screaming
God how I miss that feeling
Miss your kisses miss your smile
Whatever went wrong?
How could we have been so perfect?
When I look in the mirror I remember
What it was like to smile
But it's only a fading memory
And my eyes are tired of crying over this
But I'm not strong enough to give you up
And you weren't strong enough to hold on
I should have held your hand tighter
I could have helped you live through this
And I can't help but think
This is all my fault

Heart Broken

In my dreams
It was me in your arms
My lips on yours
There was only us
And the clouds
And the stars
It was the world and us
It was us against the world
But in your arms I could take it
Anything the world dished out
And with your kisses I was strong again
In my dreams it was me in your arms
My lips on yours
But in reality
It has always been him

I felt bad for not writing any entries

So I decided to go on a spree.

Slumdog Millionaire

I orginally heard this movie from a coversation I had with my friends about movies. Today I decided to watch it. This movie is magnificant. Absolutley no words to describe such a movie. The cinemotgraphy is specatcular, with the amazing work of director Danny Boyle. The scenery was marvelous. The music to this movie, fit the story so perfectly, it was like a bowl of awesome. This is definatley a movie worth watching. Not only was it the best bollywood movie I have seen ( though I have really on seen 5 before) it is by far one of the best movies I have ever seen. The story and diaglogue made this story shine. With an unkown lead character, Dev Patel (from British tv show Skins), he sold his character better than I could have imagined. This movie is based of a book named Q & A. I guess I am going to read that book. I will try to watch more movies, open to suggestion, and will make a review on them. 5/5

One of my first happy poems

It is so strange to wake up and be glad to see another day
It is so unusual to smile over next to nothing
It is so hard to act as though nothing lights up my life
So hard to pretend that I don’t love you

It is so crazy to believe that some one may be right for me
That I may be able to feel so happy
To think only of you my every waking moment
To want to make you smile at every second
To want to steal the world for you

If you asked for it I would do my best to get it
If you demanded my action
I would do my best to perform
I would die at a word or live for eternity just to see light in your eyes

I live to see you happy
To see you safe from harm
And I would be happy too
If I had you here in my arms

It feels so strange to feel so elated
To be in such agonizing ecstasy
I feel so happy
But I’d be happier to hold you in my arms

Is It Love?

If I hugged you,
would you never let go?

If I kissed you,
would you cherish that moment?

If I reached for your hand,
would you take mine gently?

If I needed a shoulder,
would you let me cry on yours?

If I needed to talk,
would you really listen?

If I needed to scream,
would you do it with me?

If I needed to go,
would you come with me?

If I fell for you,
would you catch me?
or just let me hit the pavement?

Addiction

Here is my poem that I got second place in with. Lost by 1 vote.

Her name unimportant, her story untold
Her heart left open, her dignity sold
She had an addiction the kind you can't beat
The addiction to cut and make herself bleed

It started as an answer, a cry for help
But her soul had dried out, not tears to cry left
In her heart she felt empty, the lacking of love
And even though her mother cried, no one could care enough

So one last time she locked the door
She brought the steel across her arm, let blood drip to the floor
She dropped to the ground and drowned in her tears
Her life was cut short, only living a few years

Her name was unimportant, yet her story was told
The poor girl with an addiction,
Died at only thirteen years old

My Background

Yes, the years of toture of html and photoshop have paid off, for now. I am finally regaining some of my past knowledge in this. I am awesome.

Paintbaliing (One of my happier entries)

Yesterday, me and a group of friends went out. We set out to do a project, which turned into an all out war between to sides. We went paintballing. We first thought of paintballing when we were doing our G4 project. We planned a day, and the following days people started hoarding in. We started with 5 people, it quickly turned to 10+ people. The day started off with me being late. Oh well. We quickly rushed to the paintball place, walking up and down hills. I remember laughing a lot because of the vast amount of hills a big guy like me had to climb. We arrived at the place. We started our waver forms, and everyone noticed the waver forms told us that we were giving up our rights to sue, I thought awesome. We paid for our paintballs and than procceeded to suit up. Me and Jasdeep seem to suit up longest. When we went to go grab our mask, I noticed that the visibility was really bad. Plus I had glasses which made the situation worse. We then went and loaded up our guns. We than went to the battle field. We had around 15 people playing this game. It included me, Jasdeep, Raza, Harjot, Jagdeep, Sam, Matt, Danny, Ryan, Richard, Victor, Albert, William, Alex and finally Andrew. We spilt into our sides equally. Sadly we wanted to start with brown versus asaians, but it was way out numbered. We than went to our designated bases. The match started. Couple of seconds of dead silence, than followed by massive fire. Formulating plans in the base were futile. I was stuck in the bunker shooting people. Felt awesome. Than I realized I ran out of bullets. That round many people were shot, some highlights was Victor's 2 seconds of play time. He couldn't see and ended up failing. Alex's being head shotted. Jasdeep's "cum face" and his attempt to lick it. The next round soon started. I soon found myself on the opposite team of my once comrades. This time I wasn't held back from running to covers. I ran as fast as a big person could. Couple minutes into the round I got shot, in the head. I went to tap the glass and quickly returned to cover. This game seem to last forever. I had taken cover in a bunker besides enemy territory. I was shooting like mad. A person who had played with us ask for some ammo, I quickly gave him some. He eventually rushed, without getting shot. I ran to take cover almost directly beside the enemy base. The enemy was debating who it was, when they found out it was me, they seemed to formulate a plan, rushing me. I had no choice, shoot or be shot. So I shot, hit Andrew a couple of times (he admitted to cheating and didn't go out of the game). I realize by now I had once again ran out of ammo. My comrades in the nearby bunker had my back. So I stayed there and waited for the rush. When it was time one man rushed out. He shot, but his gun was empty. We were both shooting blanks, he quickly got fired upon, while I was heading out of the game because of my lack of ammunition. I saw fellow teammates and enemys all laughing together. I walked away with a couple shots of people and 1 or 2 headshots. That was a great game. All of our hair was greasy from the paint. We set out to do a projects with the hopes of filming some of this. That failed. We still had a great time.

Hey everyone

Me and 3 other of my friends are decided on doing a poetry contest. This weeks theme is addiction. I have tons of ideas, and I have formed them into one big poem. Hopefully it turns out good.

Why Do I Find It Hard?

Why do I find it hard to not to be near you?
Why do I find it hard to not stutter in front of you?
Why do I find it hard to not blush in front of you?
Why do I find it hard controlling myself near you?
Why do I find it hard to ignore you?
Why do I find it hard not to hold you?
Why do I find it hard not to think about you?
Why do I find it hard to say I love you?
Is it that hard?

What If?

What if I had stop you from leaving?
What if I had chased after you?
What if I had held your hand under the moon?
What if I had held you tight?
What if I fought off your demons?
What if I told you I love you, every second of every day?
What if I say you are beautiful in every aspect?
What if I had kept my promises?
Now you are gone
As I lay here
All I can do is ask
What if......?

Having a bad day?

Nothing compared to these people *Click Me*

I am not all serious

Most of you know me. You know I am not very serious. I will start posting things that I find hilarous on here to. Just can't think of any right now. Also think this blog as the more profound side of me. It actually kind of balances me out.

I Saw You Today

I saw you today
Saw you from a far
I wanted to move closer
My feet didn't care
I tried to talk
My mouth didn't listen
I was only able to stare
As you past by
Out of my life

Why is it?

Why is it when I talk to you no words come out?
Why is it when I think, it's always about you?
Why does my heart skip beats when I see you,
isn't that bad?
Why do I care more about you than myself?
Is this a curse, a disease or something fatal?
If so, I would die happy.

Why Didn't I Tell You (Response to How Did I Tell You)

What did I say when I saw you?
What words came out when our eyes met?
Why didn't these words come out right?

Did I tell you that you were all that I needed?

Did I jump hurtles to tell you, only to fall?
Did I find the time to see to talk?
Or did I just end up mute.

Did I scream your name out to world to hear?
Or was I just to nervous?

Why did this happen?
Was it my fault or was it yours?
Why do I feel it is mine?
Did I love you?
Than why didn't I tell you?
Was I nervous?
Maybe I was lazy.

Now you are gone.
The words I didn't say
Now haunt me

The first of many

Hello, this would be my first post of many. I hope you like what you see on my page.